Knowing that I really don’t have to go through this might just be the only thought I need to lose my faith, too.
Knowing that I could just go on with this relationship and nothing would happen might just be the one thing to drive me crazy.
Knowing that he’s hurting because of me might be the only thing needed to break down my wall.
But knowing that life is one large mass of trash, and everyone’s really confused and hopeless without God, seems to be the one thing keeping me standing.
Knowing that I have a role to play in all of this just keeps me going.
Knowing that the responsibility of leading these thirsty souls to the River of life is what keeps me going.
Knowing that top-Christians and pastors are also confused about the way they’ve chosen, just makes me know that I have to stand up and leave this shell called “self” and face my calling.
There’s a mandate on my life. To show these people that the void in them was created by God to be filled by Him.
And I’ll admit, it’s scary. For some strange reason, when I think about things like this, I’m scared I might lose my sanity, because I basically have to go against the tides of “common knowledge”.
I’d have to do things that don’t seem “sane”. And maybe I will lose my sanity. But I hope that in the midst of it all, God keeps me through; he keeps me standing.
I’ve laid down my idols. I’ve abandoned treasures of my heart to chase after God. I pray that I don’t stray from this path. I literally have nothing/ no one to fall back on. God, my life is yours. Use me as you please.