Knowing that I really don’t have to go through this might just be the only thought I need to lose my faith, too.
Knowing that I could just go on with this relationship and nothing would happen might just be the one thing to drive me crazy.
Knowing that he’s hurting because of me might be the only thing needed to break down my wall.
But knowing that life is one large mass of trash, and everyone’s really confused and hopeless without God, seems to be the one thing keeping me standing.
Knowing that I have a role to play in all of this just keeps me going.
Knowing that the responsibility of leading these thirsty souls to the River of life is what keeps me going.
Knowing that top-Christians and pastors are also confused about the way they’ve chosen, just makes me know that I have to stand up and leave this shell called “self” and face my calling.
There’s a mandate on my life. To show these people that the void in them was created by God to be filled by Him.
And I’ll admit, it’s scary. For some strange reason, when I think about things like this, I’m scared I might lose my sanity, because I basically have to go against the tides of “common knowledge”.
I’d have to do things that don’t seem “sane”. And maybe I will lose my sanity. But I hope that in the midst of it all, God keeps me through; he keeps me standing.
I’ve laid down my idols. I’ve abandoned treasures of my heart to chase after God. I pray that I don’t stray from this path. I literally have nothing/ no one to fall back on. God, my life is yours. Use me as you please.
I write this, Knight, for you.
The times we spent together,
Finding solace in each other's arms.
The times we spent together,
Under the starry night sky,
With nothing but love for each other.
The times I spent staring intently at you,
Especially your face—I could never get enough of your charming face.
The overnight "reading" we had
Where we did all but read.
The stories we wove,
The poems we wrote,
The songs we sang,
The tales we told,
The magic we created,
The stars we birthed,
The love we shared,
I'll never forget.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you needed.
I'm sorry He had other plans for me.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to be there.
I'm sorry He had other plans for us.
I promise I'll still be here when you need me.
I promise we'll make it past this.
I promise I'll still be here.
I'm certain we'll make it past this.
So, dry your tears, my Knight,
For this is not Goodbye.
It's just a "Good night"
Till we meet in the morning,
When all's settled and good.
Dry your tears, my Knight,
Your Light still loves you.
So, this is my first blog post and I’m really proud of myself. I’m actually typing this, and not postponing it as usual. Yeah, I always postpone this. I read a post today that said that when we announce our intentions, it kinda tricks our brains into making us feel like we’ve done what we intend doing, so we don’t actually do it. Well, I’m doing this. Yay, Me!
Hi, there! You’re welcome to SparkleRine’s blog. No, that’s not my real name, but I think I want to remain anonymous, at least for now. I might be sharing some really personal information, so I think it’s better I keep my identity a secret. At least till I’m confident enough to “come out”.
I’ll tell you a little about me though. I’m a teenager in her late teens, and I’m a student. I major in English. I love God, books and nature. I’m learning to love people. I’m only being honest.
So, this blog is going to be about my experiences, especially as a growing Christian teenager who knows she was created for so much more. I should say this though – I really don’t know what I’m going to be, or what the next step is, or what the “big plan” is. But I know I was created with a unique purpose and I’ve caught glimpses of that purpose.
I should also say this; I’m GROWING. That basically means that I might sound like I have it all figured out today, and tomorrow, I might sound like my life is nothing but a rubble. Please don’t be confused. I really know what I’m doing. Maybe.
That’s it for the welcome post. I hope you find something that speaks to you on this page, or at least just something you love.
I love you!